Are you ready for the Evolution?

How often do we talk about wanting a revolution?  We want everything around us to be different.  We want to affect change.  We sometimes think that if things were different around us, that would somehow make our lives better.  Maybe that's true on some level but, really it's just another excuse we make for why we don't have the life we think we should have.  So here it is...I think we need an evolution not a revolution.  What needs to change isn't the world around us, it's us.

I've decided to start my own evolution which includes speaking more often about Eli and his lessons, and preparing myself to have the life I really want to have.  I think everything is possible if you make it a priority and work your tail off to get it.  So that's where I'm at.  I've started something I'm calling Jen 3.0 and I'll be encouraging others to join me on this journey.  It's an evolution of mind, body, and spirit.  So are you ready for your version 3.0?  Let's go on this evolution together!  Visit www.jenthreepointzero.com for more information about what I'm doing and how you can be involved. 

The evolution is on!

Listen to others with interest and purpose

It's the cutest thing ever.  If you say the word "secret", he'll lay his head on your shoulder and wait for you to whisper in his ear.  I love it.  There's just something really sweet about a giant dog laying their head on your shoulder.  

What I find most striking, is that he sits there incredibly still (which for him is in itself a major miracle.  He's never still even when he's sleeping).  He's waiting eagerly for you to speak into his ear.  It makes me feel so good!  Now, I'm not stupid.  I know he's waiting for one specific word when he puts his head down on my shoulder.  He's waiting for the word "play", but I think there is a great lesson in this that we could all learn from.  

How often do we listen to others with that type of intensity and purpose.  How much better would our relationships be if we did.  I'm not sure if you're anything like me, but I often catch myself fading off as I'm trying to focus to someone talking.  Maybe it's my ADHD personality but there are times when I truly find it difficult to focus my attention on what someone is saying.  How often do I really stop long enough to be interested in what someone is saying?  Seriously, if my large, dopey german shepherd can sit there quietly for a few moments to truly listen to what I'm saying, can't I calm my spirit enough to fully listen to someone with intent and purpose?

I encourage you to work on this lesson this week.  Try to focus not just on the words people are saying, but to the meaning and purpose behind them.  Being a great listener is an amazing skill and one that is often looked over in our day and age.  

This weeks favorite lesson, "Listen with interest and purpose"!

 

Do It No Matter What!

I know you have met those people that seem to keep pushing regardless of pain, obstacles, and heartbreak.  No matter what happens, they just keep on going.  I don't know about you, but that was certainly one of the lessons I learned as a young person.  Whether as an athlete, a musician, or just an average everyday person, there are always times that I have had to keep going even when I thought I was at my breaking point. 

That was this weeks lesson from Eli.  At some point last week, he pulled a muscle in his leg while we were playing.  I felt so bad as he limped around.  I checked him several times and there were no cuts, he just seemed to be tender while he walked, so I figured we would give it a few days before I took him to the vet, just to see if it would heal on its own.  The hardest thing about the week was keeping him from playing and hurting himself more.  It was not an easy task.  Once he gets in his head that he wants to do something, it's pretty difficult to ignore him.  He can be pretty relentless.

After a few days I finally gave in one night and thought I would throw the ball a few times to him just to passify him.   It was amazing to me that as we played, he lost his limp, and I could almost see a smile on his face (which always looks goofy by the way).  So there are two lessons in this.  The first is, sometimes you just have to push through the pain.  Now I am in no way saying that you should be stupid about this but really I think there are so many times that we make all kinds of excuses about why we don't do something.  We hurt too much, we aren't talented enough, someone else is better, I just can't do it.  Pick your internal excuse.  We all say them.  But Eli's simple desire to keep playing through the pain was a great lesson for me.  So often, I have those moments of self doubt that tell me that I can't do something.  I was plagued with them as a younger person.  But I am slowly learning that the greatest tragedy is to look back at life and realize that you never really got to where you wanted to be because you made too many excuses.  I don't want to live like that.

The second lesson that is equally important is about passion.  There is no doubt to me that Eli LOVES, and I mean LOVES to play.  I would most definitely call it his passion.  Although he was injured, he had such a strong desire to play that it didn't matter that he was hurting.  He was willing to do it no matter what. 

Do you have a passion that you have to do no matter what?  I have a few that are like that for me.  Music is the main one.  I think about it in the morning and I'm thinking about it when I go to bed.  I love writing and performing and connecting with people in a really special way through music.  My other passion is writing and speaking.  The whole idea for the book about Eli has been such a great time for me to work on.  I love it and I love talking about it to audiences.   

No matter what your passion is, find a way to do it.  I say all the time, your passion may not be the thing that makes you money and helps pay your bills, but it has to be part of your life. 

Two lessons, one dog!  The wisdom continues!

Love Unconditionally

One of my favorite things about Eli, and really most every other dog, is that they truly love unconditionally.  This is a trait that you can often see in dogs who have been abused.  Once they get past their fear, they are so eager to love someone.  It's so special and I have to imagine for the new owners, it means more than anything.

I never ever have to doubt that Eli loves me.  Coming home to him never fails to make me feel really good.  If you're an animal person, you likely know exactly what I'm talking about.  Cats do it too, they're just a little bit more picky about it at times. 

It's nearly impossible to be in a bad mood when there is someone or something that happy to see you.  I really love that about Eli.  It's how he makes me feel about myself.  He makes me feel good.  I think so often we have conditions on our love and maybe that's why the divorce rate is as high as it is.  "I love you, but I'm not 'in love with you' is a line many people have heard and many people have said.  But what if we loved unconditionally in much the same way animals do.  What if we were always excited to see someone?  What if they knew without a doubt that they were loved?  Would it really matter if we weren't 'in love' with someone but simply loved them?  Superficial love can come and go with the wind but those who love unconditionally, love without placing restrictions on their love. 

I really want to be like Eli when it comes to his ability to show love.  To show someone love unconditionally I think may very well be one of the greatest gifts we can give them.  I've thought long and often about what I would like to have written on my epitaph, and for me I want it to say that I loved well.  It would mean that I lived my life in such a way that others felt my love for them.  What an honor it would be to live a life like that.  I fail often, but like everything, I think you just have to keep trying. 

Love doesn't have to be perfect.  It just has to be true and pure and just like Eli, unconditional.

 

Sometimes you just have to do what others won't!

Normally, I like to share lessons I've learned from my dog Eli, but I thought this week I would share a lesson I learned from my mom when I was in 7th grade.  I'm not sure she remembers it, but it was such a significant lesson for me it is one that I think of often.

I may have been one of those strange kids, but I really liked my mom (Of course I loved her, but I think young people tend to dislike their parents for a period of time.  I didn't really go through that).  I actually really enjoyed when she was a chaperon for our class trips. 

My class was going to a place called COSI, which is a really cool science-like museum in Columbus, OH (I think).  I was in my moms group, which I loved, as was one of my classmates, a girl named Tina.  She had a skin disorder that caused her to grow access skin that flaked off, so her skin always appeared scaly.  Most people were afraid to touch her for fear of "catching" something.  You know how kids can be at that age and I'm sad to say people were not nice to her.  I wish I could say I was better then them but my unfortunate silence was probably actually worse.  For as much as I claimed to be  Christian, to this day it bothers me that I did not stand better on my beliefs.  So here's lesson number one, just because we are not cruel to someone, does not make us better then the people who are.  Sometimes choosing not to interact and befriend those who could maybe use a friend is a little worse because quite frankly, we should know better!

So any way, back to my story.  My mom, much like Eli, makes the world a better place because she's here.  That day at COSI, she showed me exactly how I should live my life and treat other people.  At some point in the day, I saw mom holding Tina's hand as we walked around.  She didn't treat her any different and didn't shy away from holding her hand, and I'm sure that many people might not have done that.  That one simple act did so much to teach me about respect!  Such an amazing lesson from such an amazing woman!!! 

You remember that golden rule right?  "Treat others the way you want to be treated".  I always tell people there is more to that rule.  "Treat others the way THEY want to be treated".  I think I'll take it one step further, "Treat others BETTER than they want to be treated". 

Thank you mom, for one of the best lessons of my life on how to treat others with love and respect. 

Make the World a Better Place Because You Are Here!

One of my favorite things about any animal, is that, for the people who love them, life is better!  Animals can make people happy, just because they are there.  Eli is like that for me without a doubt.  He just makes me happy to see him.  His love for me is so evident, that I can't help but be happy when he's excited to see me. I'll probably tell you this again, but I really do love this lesson from him.

I'll never forget one of our walks together.  We had been out walking for about 45 minutes so he was pretty calm  by that point (generally he starts our walks super excited and I'm just trying to keep up.  Don't worry Caesar, we're working on that!).  Normally, at some point on our walk, we'll run through a series of commands to get him used to listening to me when we're out and about.  We were in the middle of our exercises when I noticed a man standing there watching us.  Now generally, I'll be the first to admit that a situation like that can be a bit unnerving, but for some reason I didn't feel threatened by him and it didn't take me long to realize that he was watching Eli not me.  His smile was so big watching Eli that I couldn't help but smile too.  We finished what we were doing and headed in the man's direction to get home.  As we approached him, he smiled and told me how handsome Eli was.  I quickly recognized that the man was mentally challenged after a short conversation with him.  What struck me about our conversation more than anything was how happy he seemed watching Eli and talking to me about him.  Eli's very presence just made him happy. 

I'll be the first to admit, I don't always make the world a better place because I'm there but I definitely want to be more like Eli.  His life makes me happy.  It apparently makes others happy too when they watch him.  Maybe it's because he's a truly good looking dog.  Maybe it's his dopey smile.  Whatever it is though, I want to be more like him.  I want to be the kind of person who makes others lives better just because I was there.  I may not be perfect, but I can always be better!

Thank you Eli for this great lesson!

Taking advantage of more opportunities!

Recently I've had different opportunities present themselves to me. I've met people that I felt like I just needed to learn from. Had I not been ready, I would have truly missed out on some incredible chances. One such example was how 2011 started for me. I was feeling that big push in my life that I needed to be doing more. More for myself, the ones I love, and more for my community. I wasn't able to fully articulate what that meant until I was in a meeting. We were asked to go through an exercise in which we chose 3 words that described our goals for the year. I chose passion, enthusiansm, and engagement. My thought was that i wanted to jump in this year and get involoved. I wanted to be more involved in the music scene and in my comcommunity. Not long after that experience, I got my opportunity and I am so glad I was ready for it. In just a few short months I joined the board of directors for the Fort Wayne Children's Choir, was asked to write a song for a local non-profit video project, got involved in the Special Olympics Polar Plunge, started attending a local songwriters showcase, and performed at more than 8 different fundraiser/charity events. Before I knew it, I was involved and in a big way. As I think back on the whole thing I truly could have missed out.

So much has happened since that time.  I have now been honored to speak at commencement ceremonies for ITT Technical Institute twice now.  I get the opportunity to speak regularly to audiences and some really amazing things have happened.  All because I was willing to take advantage of opportunities. 

So I'm not sure how much I believe this or not (and I'll apologize now to my grandmother who may be reading this), I once had a psychic tell me that the universe was waiting to open up for me when I was ready to let it. I think there's some truth in that. You have to be open and ready for what's coming. Its an important first step to always being ready when the opportunity presents itself.

     As I said before, don't miss your opportunities.  Be ready and don't let fear get in your way!

Don't Let Others Put Limitations on You!

When Eli was a puppy, I started to believe that he was deaf.  Despite my best efforts, it just didn't feel like he was able to hear me.  I didn't want him to be disadvantaged so I started teaching him sign language so that he wouldn't lose out on a good life.  He's a smart dog and picked everything up very quickly.  After a few month of this, I learned that he wasn't hard of hearing, just ignoring me (he is a male dog so I suppose that helps :-). 

I learned a pretty valuable lesson through the experience with Eli.  Although I thought he was hard of hearing and I wanted him to have an advantage, I'll be the first to admit, I thought he was going to have some limitations.  I'm not sure if you've experienced this but I have on a couple of occasions. 

When I was young, I needed braces on my legs because I walked pretty pigeon toed.  I'll be honest, I don't really remember wearing the braces but I do have one very vivid memory at the doctors office.  I remember this day so well because I called the doctor Mister instead of doctor and he chuckled at me. 

He asked me to run down the hallway and I must have ran with my toes turned in.  I remember him telling my mom that I would never run very well because I would always be pigeon toed. 

I'm not really sure if what he said didn't register with me, or if quite honestly I didn't really care...whatever the reason, it just didn't sink in.  Not only did I run, it turns out, I was always one of the faster people on my team.  I became a pretty decent athlete, going to Peru, South America twice to play in an international basketball tournament, was an All-American Honorable Mention Volleyball player, and more.  I tell you all of this because whatever limitations that doctor placed on me, I moved beyond them. 

All of us have people who place limitations on us.  People we love, people we hate, people we don't know, even us.   But you need to know that you have the power to move beyond those limitations.  To be great at whatever you choose to be.  It's just a matter of pushing forward, believing in you, and surrounding yourself with others that can lift you up. 

We'll definitely cover this subject more in depth and I hope to hear your stories of overcoming limitations!

Take advantage of every opportunity!

So here was the story I promised you last week! Band try-outs came and went and I didn't audition. I had convinced myself there was no reason to try, so I didn't. Now I'm very lucky that I had a babysitter at the time that recognized I had some natural musical abilities. If it would not have been for her, I certainly would not have fixed this particular problem. I guess there is a side lesson here that I will stop for a minute to mention. There are people in your life who help you get past your own fears. Take time to thank them for their help. Even if it is year's later, send them a note or Facebook them. Do something that shows you appreciate what they did for you. So right now, in this book, I would like to say a huge thank you to Julie (Tamplin). You changed my life and I would bet that you don't even know it. You might not even remember this story, but I do and it changed who I became. For that I will be eternally grateful.

Back to my story. So the auditions past and I wasn't in band. About a month went by and Julie noticed that I was drumming around the house with chop sticks. She asked me why I hadn't joined the band when they had try-outs. I, of course made up several excuses as to why I didn't tryout, none of which were true. The truth was that I was chicken. Well Julie, being the good band geek that she was, told me that she knew the band director, Mr. Ling and she thought he would be willing to let me in the band if I really wanted to join. For days, she talked to me about it. Finally, after a week of telling me to go talk to him, I told her I would.

So, I made the decision to go talk to Mr. Ling the next time he was at our school. Now, I'm not going to lie and tell you I was totally confident. There's actually something I should probably tell you about myself. I am painfully shy. Most people nowadays won't believe me, but it's true. It was terribly obvious when I was younger. There was a time when it was so bad, I would hide behind my mom if anyone tried to talk to me. I think this is important to mention, because I know many of you are shy who are reading this book. If fact, I would bet that you have made the same excuses I used to make as to why I wouldn't take advantage of opportunities. Im serious when I say this...DON'T LET YOUR FEAR GET IN THE WAY YOU TAKING ADVANTAGE OF OPPORTUNITY. Sometimes you're going to just have to suck it up and push aside whatever is making you afraid of trying and just simply do it. It really truly is just that simple!

Ok, so I want you to picture this. I was 11 so still pretty small. I walked into the band room and there stood Mr. Ling who I'm telling you must have been 20 feet tall. I felt tiny in comparison to this man. When he noticed me standing in his room, he asked if there was anything he could do for me. I very sheepishly and quietly told him I wanted to join the band. It was really amazing that he even heard what I said. He stood up, walked over, and asked me if I realized that tryouts were last month. I said I did but I was too shy to tryout. He looked at me like he was sizing me up and asked me what I wanted to play. I told him I wanted to play drums to which he responded, "Can you play?". I must have shrugged my shoulders because he chuckled a bit and asked me to sit down at the table. He tapped the table several times and asked me to repeat the rhythm he was tapping. Either he felt sorry for me, or actually thought I had potential because he decided to let me in the band. That one moment, completely changed the course of my life forever. In fact, I can quite honestly sit here and tell you that if it wasn't for that moment, I would not be a musician with the life I have now, I would not have the job I have now, and would not live where I live. I shutter to think of what I would have missed out on if I would have let my fear take control and chosen to just let it go. So, again, thank you Julie for pushing me to go talk to Mr. Ling. And thank you so much Mr. Ling for seeing something in that scared little girl that made you let me join the band. You really have no idea how much you shaped who I have become. So here's another lesson, if you had a teacher who helped you along the way to become who you were meant to be, thank them! I don't think they hear it enough. I think teachers need to know that what they do matters. That they really do change people's lives. Sometimes, I'm sure for them, it just feels like chaos, but teachers truly make a difference. Mr. Ling, you were my gmae changer! Thank you a million times over! Shame on me for not telling you that sooner.

So seriously, when I tell you that there are moments in your life that will forever change you or the course you are on, believe me that it's true. I would bet money that you can come up with those moments and identify what happened and who was involved. Now I won't lie, sometimes those moments are terrible and tear you apart. Sometimes those moments are wonderful and lift you up. Whatever your moments, be proud of the fact that you were ready to take advantage of the opportunity when it presented itself. Can you imagine what your life would have been like if you would have missed the opportunity? I shutter to think what my life would have been like. I can point back to so many things in my life that changed the day I walked in to that band room.

I'll tell you about another moment next week!  This is one of my favorite lessons from Eli, so we're going to spend some time on it!

Be prepared for every opportunity!

It never ceases to amaze me that Eli can be in a dead sleep, and I mean poke him in the side and make sure he's still breathing type of sleep, but the moment he hears his leash, he is at the door ready to go. I am always amazed by this because there is never any hesitation. No, "I need a minute to wake up please". He's just always ready. His 'always ready to go attitute' is an important one, so I wanted to start with it.

It really should be no surprise that sometimes opportunity comes when we aren't expecting it. Being unprepared should never be an excuse for not taking advantage of good oportunities. I've been a victum of this in the past and I can tell you it really stinks when you realize you've missed an opportunity. You run through all those 'what if's and 'I could have" scenerio's in your head and sometimes, start to really beat yourself up over it. You have to be prepared to take advantage of the oppotunities when they come along. No more excuses on why you missed it. No more complaints about what could have been. Just preparation and readiness for anything that might come along.
This first lesson has really played out in my life over and over again and I'm happy to say that there are very specific opportunities that I did take advantage of that completely shaped my life. I'm sure you've had those too. Moments that completely alter the course of you and your life for ever. I'm betting if you thought hard, you could come up with 2 or 3 significant events that changed everything for you.

Over the next few week's, I'll tell you about a few of my life changing moments, and trust me when I say, they were game changers for me. The first happened when I was 11 years old. I'm not sure if many of you remember in elementary school when the band teacher came into class to talk about joining the band. They had a bunch of instruments, talked about how great it is, and I was hooked. But something happened between the time that they got me excited about it and they actual audition. I let my fear of failure and my shyness get in my way. I had convinced myself that I wasn't going to make it so there was no point in trying.  More about this story next week!

We all have this self talk that can help us or hurt us. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. It's the little things that we say to ourself. I think self talk is generally what seperates highly successful people from those who either never reach their full potential or never actually try anything. Positive self talk creates opportunity. Negative self talk prevents us from taking advantage of opportunity. I've always struggled with negative self talk for a variety of reasons and on this particular day, it nearly cost me everything about my life that I love today.  As we get more into this lesson, we'll discover why this is so important!

So the Journey Begins!

I'm what I would consider a "life long learner". I've always believed that, if you're really paying attention to the world around you, you can learn lessons from anyone, anything, or anywhere. How often do you really look at the world around you? I mean really look? Have you ever stopped to watch people? Things? Events? Everything has the potential to be a life lesson, if you're just paying close attention.


My life lessons for the last several years, have come from a very unexpected source, my dog Eli.
Eli is a  4 and a half year old German Shepperd who quite honestly is a bit quirky. Don't get me wrong, he is extremely intelligent, but he's a little different when it comes to his personality. He's pretty large, which will be important later in our conversation. He's really my big baby boy. He can frustrate me at times but he can also bring a smile to my face in an instance.


As he's matured over the last few years, I've noticed that he has been teaching me really great lessons about life. I started sharing these lessons with some people, and discovered that they held potential insight for others as well.  I started a book about these lessons a few years ago and quite frankly it's taken me far longer to complete than I had hoped.  So this blog is my attempt and beginning to share these lessons to a larger audience as I work to complete the book.


I look forward to sharing Eli's wisdom and the knowledge I have gained just by having him in my life!  We'll be sharing this journey together so I encourage you to share your experiences on this blog as well!