Sometimes you just have to do what others won't!

Normally, I like to share lessons I've learned from my dog Eli, but I thought this week I would share a lesson I learned from my mom when I was in 7th grade.  I'm not sure she remembers it, but it was such a significant lesson for me it is one that I think of often.

I may have been one of those strange kids, but I really liked my mom (Of course I loved her, but I think young people tend to dislike their parents for a period of time.  I didn't really go through that).  I actually really enjoyed when she was a chaperon for our class trips. 

My class was going to a place called COSI, which is a really cool science-like museum in Columbus, OH (I think).  I was in my moms group, which I loved, as was one of my classmates, a girl named Tina.  She had a skin disorder that caused her to grow access skin that flaked off, so her skin always appeared scaly.  Most people were afraid to touch her for fear of "catching" something.  You know how kids can be at that age and I'm sad to say people were not nice to her.  I wish I could say I was better then them but my unfortunate silence was probably actually worse.  For as much as I claimed to be  Christian, to this day it bothers me that I did not stand better on my beliefs.  So here's lesson number one, just because we are not cruel to someone, does not make us better then the people who are.  Sometimes choosing not to interact and befriend those who could maybe use a friend is a little worse because quite frankly, we should know better!

So any way, back to my story.  My mom, much like Eli, makes the world a better place because she's here.  That day at COSI, she showed me exactly how I should live my life and treat other people.  At some point in the day, I saw mom holding Tina's hand as we walked around.  She didn't treat her any different and didn't shy away from holding her hand, and I'm sure that many people might not have done that.  That one simple act did so much to teach me about respect!  Such an amazing lesson from such an amazing woman!!! 

You remember that golden rule right?  "Treat others the way you want to be treated".  I always tell people there is more to that rule.  "Treat others the way THEY want to be treated".  I think I'll take it one step further, "Treat others BETTER than they want to be treated". 

Thank you mom, for one of the best lessons of my life on how to treat others with love and respect. 

Make the World a Better Place Because You Are Here!

One of my favorite things about any animal, is that, for the people who love them, life is better!  Animals can make people happy, just because they are there.  Eli is like that for me without a doubt.  He just makes me happy to see him.  His love for me is so evident, that I can't help but be happy when he's excited to see me. I'll probably tell you this again, but I really do love this lesson from him.

I'll never forget one of our walks together.  We had been out walking for about 45 minutes so he was pretty calm  by that point (generally he starts our walks super excited and I'm just trying to keep up.  Don't worry Caesar, we're working on that!).  Normally, at some point on our walk, we'll run through a series of commands to get him used to listening to me when we're out and about.  We were in the middle of our exercises when I noticed a man standing there watching us.  Now generally, I'll be the first to admit that a situation like that can be a bit unnerving, but for some reason I didn't feel threatened by him and it didn't take me long to realize that he was watching Eli not me.  His smile was so big watching Eli that I couldn't help but smile too.  We finished what we were doing and headed in the man's direction to get home.  As we approached him, he smiled and told me how handsome Eli was.  I quickly recognized that the man was mentally challenged after a short conversation with him.  What struck me about our conversation more than anything was how happy he seemed watching Eli and talking to me about him.  Eli's very presence just made him happy. 

I'll be the first to admit, I don't always make the world a better place because I'm there but I definitely want to be more like Eli.  His life makes me happy.  It apparently makes others happy too when they watch him.  Maybe it's because he's a truly good looking dog.  Maybe it's his dopey smile.  Whatever it is though, I want to be more like him.  I want to be the kind of person who makes others lives better just because I was there.  I may not be perfect, but I can always be better!

Thank you Eli for this great lesson!

Taking advantage of more opportunities!

Recently I've had different opportunities present themselves to me. I've met people that I felt like I just needed to learn from. Had I not been ready, I would have truly missed out on some incredible chances. One such example was how 2011 started for me. I was feeling that big push in my life that I needed to be doing more. More for myself, the ones I love, and more for my community. I wasn't able to fully articulate what that meant until I was in a meeting. We were asked to go through an exercise in which we chose 3 words that described our goals for the year. I chose passion, enthusiansm, and engagement. My thought was that i wanted to jump in this year and get involoved. I wanted to be more involved in the music scene and in my comcommunity. Not long after that experience, I got my opportunity and I am so glad I was ready for it. In just a few short months I joined the board of directors for the Fort Wayne Children's Choir, was asked to write a song for a local non-profit video project, got involved in the Special Olympics Polar Plunge, started attending a local songwriters showcase, and performed at more than 8 different fundraiser/charity events. Before I knew it, I was involved and in a big way. As I think back on the whole thing I truly could have missed out.

So much has happened since that time.  I have now been honored to speak at commencement ceremonies for ITT Technical Institute twice now.  I get the opportunity to speak regularly to audiences and some really amazing things have happened.  All because I was willing to take advantage of opportunities. 

So I'm not sure how much I believe this or not (and I'll apologize now to my grandmother who may be reading this), I once had a psychic tell me that the universe was waiting to open up for me when I was ready to let it. I think there's some truth in that. You have to be open and ready for what's coming. Its an important first step to always being ready when the opportunity presents itself.

     As I said before, don't miss your opportunities.  Be ready and don't let fear get in your way!

Don't Let Others Put Limitations on You!

When Eli was a puppy, I started to believe that he was deaf.  Despite my best efforts, it just didn't feel like he was able to hear me.  I didn't want him to be disadvantaged so I started teaching him sign language so that he wouldn't lose out on a good life.  He's a smart dog and picked everything up very quickly.  After a few month of this, I learned that he wasn't hard of hearing, just ignoring me (he is a male dog so I suppose that helps :-). 

I learned a pretty valuable lesson through the experience with Eli.  Although I thought he was hard of hearing and I wanted him to have an advantage, I'll be the first to admit, I thought he was going to have some limitations.  I'm not sure if you've experienced this but I have on a couple of occasions. 

When I was young, I needed braces on my legs because I walked pretty pigeon toed.  I'll be honest, I don't really remember wearing the braces but I do have one very vivid memory at the doctors office.  I remember this day so well because I called the doctor Mister instead of doctor and he chuckled at me. 

He asked me to run down the hallway and I must have ran with my toes turned in.  I remember him telling my mom that I would never run very well because I would always be pigeon toed. 

I'm not really sure if what he said didn't register with me, or if quite honestly I didn't really care...whatever the reason, it just didn't sink in.  Not only did I run, it turns out, I was always one of the faster people on my team.  I became a pretty decent athlete, going to Peru, South America twice to play in an international basketball tournament, was an All-American Honorable Mention Volleyball player, and more.  I tell you all of this because whatever limitations that doctor placed on me, I moved beyond them. 

All of us have people who place limitations on us.  People we love, people we hate, people we don't know, even us.   But you need to know that you have the power to move beyond those limitations.  To be great at whatever you choose to be.  It's just a matter of pushing forward, believing in you, and surrounding yourself with others that can lift you up. 

We'll definitely cover this subject more in depth and I hope to hear your stories of overcoming limitations!

Take advantage of every opportunity!

So here was the story I promised you last week! Band try-outs came and went and I didn't audition. I had convinced myself there was no reason to try, so I didn't. Now I'm very lucky that I had a babysitter at the time that recognized I had some natural musical abilities. If it would not have been for her, I certainly would not have fixed this particular problem. I guess there is a side lesson here that I will stop for a minute to mention. There are people in your life who help you get past your own fears. Take time to thank them for their help. Even if it is year's later, send them a note or Facebook them. Do something that shows you appreciate what they did for you. So right now, in this book, I would like to say a huge thank you to Julie (Tamplin). You changed my life and I would bet that you don't even know it. You might not even remember this story, but I do and it changed who I became. For that I will be eternally grateful.

Back to my story. So the auditions past and I wasn't in band. About a month went by and Julie noticed that I was drumming around the house with chop sticks. She asked me why I hadn't joined the band when they had try-outs. I, of course made up several excuses as to why I didn't tryout, none of which were true. The truth was that I was chicken. Well Julie, being the good band geek that she was, told me that she knew the band director, Mr. Ling and she thought he would be willing to let me in the band if I really wanted to join. For days, she talked to me about it. Finally, after a week of telling me to go talk to him, I told her I would.

So, I made the decision to go talk to Mr. Ling the next time he was at our school. Now, I'm not going to lie and tell you I was totally confident. There's actually something I should probably tell you about myself. I am painfully shy. Most people nowadays won't believe me, but it's true. It was terribly obvious when I was younger. There was a time when it was so bad, I would hide behind my mom if anyone tried to talk to me. I think this is important to mention, because I know many of you are shy who are reading this book. If fact, I would bet that you have made the same excuses I used to make as to why I wouldn't take advantage of opportunities. Im serious when I say this...DON'T LET YOUR FEAR GET IN THE WAY YOU TAKING ADVANTAGE OF OPPORTUNITY. Sometimes you're going to just have to suck it up and push aside whatever is making you afraid of trying and just simply do it. It really truly is just that simple!

Ok, so I want you to picture this. I was 11 so still pretty small. I walked into the band room and there stood Mr. Ling who I'm telling you must have been 20 feet tall. I felt tiny in comparison to this man. When he noticed me standing in his room, he asked if there was anything he could do for me. I very sheepishly and quietly told him I wanted to join the band. It was really amazing that he even heard what I said. He stood up, walked over, and asked me if I realized that tryouts were last month. I said I did but I was too shy to tryout. He looked at me like he was sizing me up and asked me what I wanted to play. I told him I wanted to play drums to which he responded, "Can you play?". I must have shrugged my shoulders because he chuckled a bit and asked me to sit down at the table. He tapped the table several times and asked me to repeat the rhythm he was tapping. Either he felt sorry for me, or actually thought I had potential because he decided to let me in the band. That one moment, completely changed the course of my life forever. In fact, I can quite honestly sit here and tell you that if it wasn't for that moment, I would not be a musician with the life I have now, I would not have the job I have now, and would not live where I live. I shutter to think of what I would have missed out on if I would have let my fear take control and chosen to just let it go. So, again, thank you Julie for pushing me to go talk to Mr. Ling. And thank you so much Mr. Ling for seeing something in that scared little girl that made you let me join the band. You really have no idea how much you shaped who I have become. So here's another lesson, if you had a teacher who helped you along the way to become who you were meant to be, thank them! I don't think they hear it enough. I think teachers need to know that what they do matters. That they really do change people's lives. Sometimes, I'm sure for them, it just feels like chaos, but teachers truly make a difference. Mr. Ling, you were my gmae changer! Thank you a million times over! Shame on me for not telling you that sooner.

So seriously, when I tell you that there are moments in your life that will forever change you or the course you are on, believe me that it's true. I would bet money that you can come up with those moments and identify what happened and who was involved. Now I won't lie, sometimes those moments are terrible and tear you apart. Sometimes those moments are wonderful and lift you up. Whatever your moments, be proud of the fact that you were ready to take advantage of the opportunity when it presented itself. Can you imagine what your life would have been like if you would have missed the opportunity? I shutter to think what my life would have been like. I can point back to so many things in my life that changed the day I walked in to that band room.

I'll tell you about another moment next week!  This is one of my favorite lessons from Eli, so we're going to spend some time on it!