Listen to others with interest and purpose

It's the cutest thing ever.  If you say the word "secret", he'll lay his head on your shoulder and wait for you to whisper in his ear.  I love it.  There's just something really sweet about a giant dog laying their head on your shoulder.  

What I find most striking, is that he sits there incredibly still (which for him is in itself a major miracle.  He's never still even when he's sleeping).  He's waiting eagerly for you to speak into his ear.  It makes me feel so good!  Now, I'm not stupid.  I know he's waiting for one specific word when he puts his head down on my shoulder.  He's waiting for the word "play", but I think there is a great lesson in this that we could all learn from.  

How often do we listen to others with that type of intensity and purpose.  How much better would our relationships be if we did.  I'm not sure if you're anything like me, but I often catch myself fading off as I'm trying to focus to someone talking.  Maybe it's my ADHD personality but there are times when I truly find it difficult to focus my attention on what someone is saying.  How often do I really stop long enough to be interested in what someone is saying?  Seriously, if my large, dopey german shepherd can sit there quietly for a few moments to truly listen to what I'm saying, can't I calm my spirit enough to fully listen to someone with intent and purpose?

I encourage you to work on this lesson this week.  Try to focus not just on the words people are saying, but to the meaning and purpose behind them.  Being a great listener is an amazing skill and one that is often looked over in our day and age.  

This weeks favorite lesson, "Listen with interest and purpose"!

 

Do It No Matter What!

I know you have met those people that seem to keep pushing regardless of pain, obstacles, and heartbreak.  No matter what happens, they just keep on going.  I don't know about you, but that was certainly one of the lessons I learned as a young person.  Whether as an athlete, a musician, or just an average everyday person, there are always times that I have had to keep going even when I thought I was at my breaking point. 

That was this weeks lesson from Eli.  At some point last week, he pulled a muscle in his leg while we were playing.  I felt so bad as he limped around.  I checked him several times and there were no cuts, he just seemed to be tender while he walked, so I figured we would give it a few days before I took him to the vet, just to see if it would heal on its own.  The hardest thing about the week was keeping him from playing and hurting himself more.  It was not an easy task.  Once he gets in his head that he wants to do something, it's pretty difficult to ignore him.  He can be pretty relentless.

After a few days I finally gave in one night and thought I would throw the ball a few times to him just to passify him.   It was amazing to me that as we played, he lost his limp, and I could almost see a smile on his face (which always looks goofy by the way).  So there are two lessons in this.  The first is, sometimes you just have to push through the pain.  Now I am in no way saying that you should be stupid about this but really I think there are so many times that we make all kinds of excuses about why we don't do something.  We hurt too much, we aren't talented enough, someone else is better, I just can't do it.  Pick your internal excuse.  We all say them.  But Eli's simple desire to keep playing through the pain was a great lesson for me.  So often, I have those moments of self doubt that tell me that I can't do something.  I was plagued with them as a younger person.  But I am slowly learning that the greatest tragedy is to look back at life and realize that you never really got to where you wanted to be because you made too many excuses.  I don't want to live like that.

The second lesson that is equally important is about passion.  There is no doubt to me that Eli LOVES, and I mean LOVES to play.  I would most definitely call it his passion.  Although he was injured, he had such a strong desire to play that it didn't matter that he was hurting.  He was willing to do it no matter what. 

Do you have a passion that you have to do no matter what?  I have a few that are like that for me.  Music is the main one.  I think about it in the morning and I'm thinking about it when I go to bed.  I love writing and performing and connecting with people in a really special way through music.  My other passion is writing and speaking.  The whole idea for the book about Eli has been such a great time for me to work on.  I love it and I love talking about it to audiences.   

No matter what your passion is, find a way to do it.  I say all the time, your passion may not be the thing that makes you money and helps pay your bills, but it has to be part of your life. 

Two lessons, one dog!  The wisdom continues!

Love Unconditionally

One of my favorite things about Eli, and really most every other dog, is that they truly love unconditionally.  This is a trait that you can often see in dogs who have been abused.  Once they get past their fear, they are so eager to love someone.  It's so special and I have to imagine for the new owners, it means more than anything.

I never ever have to doubt that Eli loves me.  Coming home to him never fails to make me feel really good.  If you're an animal person, you likely know exactly what I'm talking about.  Cats do it too, they're just a little bit more picky about it at times. 

It's nearly impossible to be in a bad mood when there is someone or something that happy to see you.  I really love that about Eli.  It's how he makes me feel about myself.  He makes me feel good.  I think so often we have conditions on our love and maybe that's why the divorce rate is as high as it is.  "I love you, but I'm not 'in love with you' is a line many people have heard and many people have said.  But what if we loved unconditionally in much the same way animals do.  What if we were always excited to see someone?  What if they knew without a doubt that they were loved?  Would it really matter if we weren't 'in love' with someone but simply loved them?  Superficial love can come and go with the wind but those who love unconditionally, love without placing restrictions on their love. 

I really want to be like Eli when it comes to his ability to show love.  To show someone love unconditionally I think may very well be one of the greatest gifts we can give them.  I've thought long and often about what I would like to have written on my epitaph, and for me I want it to say that I loved well.  It would mean that I lived my life in such a way that others felt my love for them.  What an honor it would be to live a life like that.  I fail often, but like everything, I think you just have to keep trying. 

Love doesn't have to be perfect.  It just has to be true and pure and just like Eli, unconditional.